Dear Wedding Skulls

I LOVE Christmas – it’s such a magical time of the year. Every Christmas I feel like there’s the surreal faery dust in the air. It’s just amazing.

I want to get married at Christmas, preferably on Christmas eve but at the very least two or three days before Christmas. My husband thinks it’s kind of silly, but he’s happy to go along with it.

When we told my parents, they had a COW! They couldn’t believe we’d want to get married the week of Christmas. “Everyone will have to travel during the Christmas rush to get to your wedding!” They said, “The holidays are stressful enough without having a wedding too!” “If you have it on Christmas Eve, no one will come.”

No matter how much I assure them that I’ll do all the work and it won’t be stressful at all, they’re still insisting we change the date to something way back in November! What do you think? Should we had a magical Christmas Eve wedding or do something else?

First of all, have you seen Sassy and Ian’s beautiful Gothed-Up Christmas Wedding? If not, go and have a look and read what she says about planning a Christmas wedding?

I can understand totally why you want a Christmas wedding. You’re thinking of how beautiful it will be:

• everything covered in snow
• towering Christmas trees covered in sparkling lights
• rich, delicious food
• everyone gathered together to celebrate
• Christmas carols (mine would be heavy metal Christmas carols, but each to their own)
• Winter colors, wonder and magic

However, for many people, Christmas means something totally different:

• bankrupting themselves paying for obligatory presents
• Travelling long distances on crowded roads, airlines, buses and trains.
• Shopping till all hours
• Extra hours at work to pay for all the Christmas cheer
• Dieting in preparation for the gluttony to follow
• MASSIVE food bills and lots of cooking that needs to be done
• Cleaning the house for guests
• Sharing their house with many guests, some of whom have Children. Loud Children.
• Stress induced by all of the above

Your parents have a legitimate concern. Asking a family member to squeeze a wedding – especially a wedding they’d have to travel for – during this hectic schedule just doesn’t sit right.

You haven’t considered the fact that with everybody travelling over this period, a large number of your guests WON’T be able to come?

Look, the reason Christmas is magical is NOT because it’s Dec 25th, but because all your loved ones are gathered together and totally celebrating being with each other. That’s what gives Christmas that surrealistic faery quality (I know what you mean about that).

Christmas should be a time for people to be with and appreciate their own families, and I think you should remember that before you ask them to spend time and energy celebrating yours. Weddings DO take time and energy, even if you do EVERYTHING yourself. A would have to RSVP, arrange transport to your wedding, find a babysitter, buy a present, arrange transport home again and attend any pre-wedding parties (like a bachelorette party). While that’s not much on its own, add that to the list above, and you have one stressed-out and resentful guest.

Surely there’s a compromise between having a Christmassy wedding (complete with that faery magic) and having your wedding at a time when everyone you love is more able to celebrate with you? Even moving the wedding back to the first or second week of January would give you that wonderful Christmas season while ensuring everyone’s holiday plans have more or less finished.

Really, what does the date matter? It’s the fun you have and the memories you create and the man you marry, isn’t it? And you can have that magic 365 days of the year.