Comments on: Religious Issues at Gothic Wedding http://www.weddingskulls.com/religious-issues-gothic-wedding/ Gothic, halloween, steampunk, rockabilliy, heavy metal and punk rock weddings Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:54:31 +0000 hourly 1 By: hel http://www.weddingskulls.com/religious-issues-gothic-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-537 hel Mon, 12 Oct 2009 17:51:37 +0000 http://weddingskulls.com/?p=560#comment-537 hi, i'd just like to say to both steff and to cobwebs that i think you give some really good advice on how to deal with this sort of situation. personally i don't think a gothic wedding (or indeed any other alternative or non-christian wedding) mocks marriage at all, it just celebrates it in a different way. wedding ceremonies happen all over the world, in different cultures, with totally different rituals, clothes, duration, etc etc, but at the end of the day the purposes behind them (celebrating the joining of two people in marriage, making that union official, bringing the couple's families together, being a good excuse to party) are exactly the same in every culture - including gothic culture. i'm not planning on having a full-on goth wedding but i really want to have at least a hint of goth at mine :-) i hope none of my guests mind that! hi,
i’d just like to say to both steff and to cobwebs that i think you give some really good advice on how to deal with this sort of situation.
personally i don’t think a gothic wedding (or indeed any other alternative or non-christian wedding) mocks marriage at all, it just celebrates it in a different way. wedding ceremonies happen all over the world, in different cultures, with totally different rituals, clothes, duration, etc etc, but at the end of the day the purposes behind them (celebrating the joining of two people in marriage, making that union official, bringing the couple’s families together, being a good excuse to party) are exactly the same in every culture – including gothic culture.
i’m not planning on having a full-on goth wedding but i really want to have at least a hint of goth at mine :-) i hope none of my guests mind that!

]]> By: Cobwebs http://www.weddingskulls.com/religious-issues-gothic-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-400 Cobwebs Fri, 15 May 2009 13:46:35 +0000 http://weddingskulls.com/?p=560#comment-400 This is a tough one. You shouldn't cave, because then it'll become a never-ending cycle of her putting pressure on you to change whatever facet of your life she doesn't care for. I agree that you should talk to her, and emphasize that even though the trappings of the wedding are a bit unusual they're in NO WAY meant to mock the core tenets of marriage. As Steff suggests, make it clear that you're celebrating your love in the way that makes you happiest, but also make it clear that you know you'll regret having a cookie-cutter "white wedding." (It doesn't hurt to add a little guilt: "I know you love me and want me to be happy, so I know you won't object to letting me have my once-in-a-lifetime event MY way.") I'd also definitely sit down with your mother and have a heart-to-heart talk with her, especially if she's helping to fund the wedding. She's in kind of a tough position because your grandmother is leaning on her, but if she's truly on board with your plans she'll be more likely to push back. If you emphasize that you're being respectful of the part of marriage "that really matters," you'll probably be okay. (I'd recommend that your officiant not dress like Freddy Krueger, though.) If worse comes to worst, remember the old saying, "It's ten times easier to get forgiveness than permission." Do what you want and deal with the fallout afterwards. This is a tough one. You shouldn’t cave, because then it’ll become a never-ending cycle of her putting pressure on you to change whatever facet of your life she doesn’t care for. I agree that you should talk to her, and emphasize that even though the trappings of the wedding are a bit unusual they’re in NO WAY meant to mock the core tenets of marriage. As Steff suggests, make it clear that you’re celebrating your love in the way that makes you happiest, but also make it clear that you know you’ll regret having a cookie-cutter “white wedding.” (It doesn’t hurt to add a little guilt: “I know you love me and want me to be happy, so I know you won’t object to letting me have my once-in-a-lifetime event MY way.”)

I’d also definitely sit down with your mother and have a heart-to-heart talk with her, especially if she’s helping to fund the wedding. She’s in kind of a tough position because your grandmother is leaning on her, but if she’s truly on board with your plans she’ll be more likely to push back.

If you emphasize that you’re being respectful of the part of marriage “that really matters,” you’ll probably be okay. (I’d recommend that your officiant not dress like Freddy Krueger, though.)

If worse comes to worst, remember the old saying, “It’s ten times easier to get forgiveness than permission.” Do what you want and deal with the fallout afterwards.

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