Medieval weddings have a certain magic, a touch of faerie in the air. So many of our notions of medieval matrimony are tied up in the tales of Auther and Guinivere, knights and chivelry and fantasy novels.

The starting point for anyone planning a medieval (or other historical period) wedding is the source material and history books. A little reading would reveal the reality of medieval marriage is much different to the fantasy.

The Church performed marriages, and any marriage had to be sanctioned by them. In 1076, the Council of Westminster decreed that a man could not marry his daughters or sisters without the blessing of the Church. However, it wasn’t until the 16th century that a marriage had to be performed by a priest. Castle weddings were common, and allowed, so long as the marriage was blessed by a priest later. Weddings would often take place in the “Great Hall”, or in the gardens. 

Marriages were generally arranged like a contract, with papers drawn up describing the rights, responsibilites and properties of the bride and groom. Arranged marriages were the norm, especially among the upper classes. An arranged marriage would be decided when a the intended were about 10-12 years old, and they might not even meet until the day of the wedding.

For a marriage of lesser wealth, a betrothal ceremony would take place at the bride’s family home, and the whole village would gather to celebrate. They would give the couple useful gifts like farming tools and spindles. If the groom couldn’t afford a ring, he would give the bride half a broken coin, and he would keep the other half.

The bride’s family was responsible for organising her dowry, while the grooms family provided a suitable home for the couple. A gift would also be given to the priest who performed or blessed the ceremony. A groom might also give his bride a gift on the morning after the wedding, to say, essentially, “thanks for letting me pop your cherry, love.”

Grooms who married a bride from a different village would have to buy a round of beer for the local lads, since he had robbed them of a possible wife. In return, the local lads might stage some kind of serenade or prank (sounds like a stag party to me) to try and catch the bride and groom doing the dirty.

The bride’s dress would be the nicest one she owned, and her entire face would be painted with cosmetics. High foreheads were considered beautiful, so she would pluck her hairline. Brides would wear their hair loose or weave flowers through it to create a floral wreath. She might tie a blue ribbon in her hair or on her dress, and blue was the symbol of purity.

The wedding day would include a great feast, and entertanment (jugglers, musicians, minstrels). if the Lord of the Manor felt the occassion justified it, he might even free prisoners to mark the special day. Beggars gathered outside the gates to beg for leftovers.

And what leftovers there would be! Roast quail, venison, cheeses, carrots, pears, strawberries, apples, oysters in almond milk, tarts, bread, salads of chives, lettuce and radish roots, onions, pistachio nuts, and turnips. Mulled wine, cider, beer and mead flowed freely, and dancing would follow. Guests brough small cakes, which they stacked in a huge pile (mmmm, cake pile!) and the bride and groom would try to lean over the pile and kiss without toppling the cakes, as this meant bad luck.

A medieval wedding sounds like an awful lot of fun. If you’re planning a medieval-themed wedding, you can use these traditions as a jumping-off point for your own ideas. No one is going to stone you if you don’t follow medieval traditions to the letter.