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Alternative Wedding
I have never been a huge fan of wedding veils, personally. It’s just not my style. My sister had a cute little one, just popped in underneath her bun, with a beautiful headpiece and birdcase pinned into her hair. It was so understaed and beautiful. On her. On me, veils just never seemed to work.
I wanted a circlet, and I looked everywhere for the perfect one. I found it, for $1000. Eeep.
I kept looking, but I didn’t find my gorgeous circlet until I discovered Dress of Your Dreams, the site from which I brought my amazing dress. I happened to glance at their accessories section, and there she was.
No one commented on my lack of a veil. They were too busy ooohing over our clothing and being scared out of their wits.
my beautiful medieval circlet
The tradition of veils harkens back to classical (ancient greek and roman) weddings, when the bride wore a veil dyed red. In many other cultures, it’s customary for women to veil themselves for sacred occasions such as weddings. In modern times, the veils has come to be a symbol of the “princess” wedding we all wan’t so much 
But what if you’re not that kind of girl?
Headdresses and Fascinators:
With vintage pinup so in vogue, fascinators have made a comeback in a huge way. They’re in all the bridal salons, but you can get much more awesome ones by scouring the online shops. Look for unique details and bright colours.
Hats
Wedding hats are no longer only the domain of the matronly bride. What about a cute top hat for our Victorian tea=party? A straw hat for your beach wedding? A cyberpunk elf hood for your Industrial wedding dress?
A cake hat!
What about one of Agent Lover’s fabulous cake hats? How fun would that be for an Alice in Wonderland-themed wedding?
Circlets and Tiaras
Tiaras are for the princesses among us, but who’s to say you can’t be one of the badass princesses? Look for tiaras made from industrial metals, sharp angles, black-toned materials, and with an abundance of spikes.
While tiaras sit on top of your head, like a miniature crown, a circlet goes around your head, resting in the middle of your forehead. Circlets look ethereal, and work best for fairy, medieval and pagan weddings.
a beautiful Silver Moon medieval circlet
Wreaths
A simple wreath or garland made of flowers, laurels or dried fauna would really suit a pagan or medieval wedding. Alternatively, a wreath made from fake blooms could contain a few surprises: little charms, halloween decorations or mementos of loved ones.
So you see, you don’t have to cover yourself with a veil on your wedding day. Nor does your head have to stay bare and proud. You have lots of options for finding an item of headgear to suit your needs.
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Who is BellaLili and what do you do?
Bella Lili comes from my daughters names. Isabella and Liliana. They are my muse, my everything. My name is actually Autumn, I am the one woman show behind Bella Lili. I design all my graphics, take all my pics, buy all my supplies, ship each and every item personally and last but not least….create all the jewelry for sale in my shop.
What is steampunk / Gothic / alternative subculture to you?
Steampunk to me is something from an alternate reality. Where by some twist of fate we still live in the Victorian era with Modern conveniences. So computers would be gilded with 24kt gold filigree instead of having a sleek black contemporary look now. Where industrial items are made beautiful and artfully displayed.
Goth to me is a label others give you. Most who are considered Goth haven’t labeled themselves. We just prefer the darker side of beautiful. Lovely, coldly, beautiful edgy things. Not necessarily black, just the absence of color. I create a lot of Goth items in gunmetal or gray. I think the alternative subculture is the inclination to the taboo. All of us for some reason love things that are in taboo in some way. I have an almost maniacal obsession for fantasy and skulls.
What drew you to the culture/style initially?
I have always have done my own thing. So growing up I wanted to be a badass rock star who screamed my angst at the world, but still was a vixen. As I age, reality sets in and I have come into my own style. Depending on who you ask, they will call me Goth or just odd. I love to wear a beautiful skull necklace with a pretty dress with my back piece showing. Most of my jewelry is what I love to wear.
How did you or will you incorporate gothic and steampunk features into your wedding?
Well I am happily divorced.
BUT for my next wedding, I envision and me being a vision in gray. From head to toe in charcoal loveliness. I want a beautiful handmade tiara (a silver skull cameo poised on filigree) with gray and black crystals to catch the light. A matching choker with a deep plunging dangles that fill my decollete.
A lovely pewter gray corset dress matching top hat (I would put the tiara on the hat band).
Yards and yards of merlot silk draped on anything standing still.
Candelabra’s on every table with flames candles (I am a clutz and could see setting myself on fire otherwise).
I would walk down the aisle on black silk to a wedding march played by the best guitarist I knew. Red rose petals would permeate the air as I thread across them.
My Groom would be in solid black, his attire would be the perfect match to my gray. But darker more dangerous. All dangerous men wear ascots don’t they?
Ok I better stop, I am getting caught up in my own vision. But you get the drift.
Tell us a little about your design process – how do you choose materials/motifs/inspiration for your pieces?
Funny things is that I usually find a name first, then I design a piece around that. Different I know. But it works for me. I have notebooks and notebooks full of names I love and sketches of what that name means to me.
Why do you think BellaLili appeals to so many people?
I think I strike a chord within people. There really is no common denominator in who likes my items. I have teenagers up to 60 years olds who are regular customers. I try and offer the whole experience. From a lovely picture, to a small insight into what I was thinking when I made the piece, to the beautiful custom boxes, and a personal email from me when it ships. And free shipping always. I love it when someone go the extra mile. So I try to offer that to my customers.
Name a couple of bands/songs that are on your stereo at the moment?
Sick Puppies, Nightwish, Burning Souls, Etta James, Joan Jett, and the Ramons,
What’s coming up for BellaLili?
Well I have more designs then free time, but I am going to offer some select piece in solid Fine Silver (99.9%) and I am going to be in the 1st quarter issue of Gothic Beauty. They did a product review on some items I sent them last quarter. My next goal is to get into Coilhouse and do some National Conventions/Shows.
Any advice you could offer to Wedding Skulls? (wedding advice, shopping advice, or life advice!)
Don’t buy anything if you do not absolutely love it. If you see something and are buying the cheaper version or compromising because you can’t have what you really want. Stop! Don’t buy it. Its amazing how your life will change when you only buy things for yourself you absolutely love and will die without. That old adage is very true…You get what you pay for.
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The Wedding Times be tough, so the industry works in overdrive, and we get suckered in. Those GORGEOUS pictures splashed across every bridal magazine and wedding blog really convince us we’re not doing it properly if we don’t have all of those exquisite details planned – down to the last monogrammed napkin.
And – I’ll admit – it’s fun. It’s almost too much fun. It’s like decorating a dolls house. You get caught up in the fantasy and the ‘omigod how epic is that!’ feelings, and before you know if you’ve sped $500 on chocolate wedding favors and you’re eating baked beans for a month.
So for your reading and purse-string pleasure, I present Wedding Skulls’ Top Ten List of Wedding ‘Must Have’s’ You Can Do Without’.
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Posted by admin on Jul 28, 2009 in Alternative Wedding | 1 comment
Bridesmaids – we love them. They help glue invites together, they tell us when that dress we like look horrific, they put up with all of our bridey, weddingey bollocks. So how do we say thank you?
With alternative weddings, the couple tends to make use of the creative talents of those around them. Friends pitch in, uncles operate cameras, mums bake cakes, etc. The bridal party – normally relatives or long time bestest-of-the-best friends – bear the brunt of this wedding labour, and they’re happy to do so.
Most Wedding Industry sites tell you to buy them all a present. This is normally accompanied by a long list of expensive items you could choose and have ‘personalized’ with
Here are a few Wedding Skulls ideas to thank your wonderful bridesmaids (or bridesmen) for all their amazing help:
- at your invitation/decoration/favor making night, shout them all pizza and ice cream.
- write them an email just to say how wonderful they are.
- reward them (and yourself) by spending time hanging out with them – and DON’T talk about the wedding. Go out for coffee and vegan cupcakes, swim in the river, have a picnic in the cemetery. For a few hours, forget about your venue and decorations, and just chill. Your bridesmaids need to chill too.
- make plans to hang out after you get back from the honeymoon. Friends always worry their married friends will regress into a den of sin and won’t emerge for several years. Show them you still intend to make them an important part of your life.
- headbang together.
- give them fun outfits to wear. Most girls LOVE dressing up in pretty dresses and how so few opportunities to go all out. Choose a flattering dress for each girl – or better yet, let them choose one themself! Add some funky accessories they could never wear anywhere else!
- After the formalness is over, let them sit wherever they want. They’ve been hanging out with you all day – they might want to go eat with their husband, who’s sitting by himself at the ‘misc. relatives’ table.
- say thank you, and mean it every time.
- add a note on their facebook page saying how amazing they are. That way, everyone else gets to know too!
- bring them leftover wedding cake
- Make wedding events fun. At our garage rehearsal my husband had all our groomsman doing the Egyptian dance and objecting during the vows and making inappropriate remarks about the bridesmaid’s womanly curves. It probably took us twice as long as it should have to rehearse the ceremony, but damn, was it fun!
- dance with them
- let them go when they’re tired, or need a break. Worn down, stressed-out friends do not a pleasent wedding experience make. Don’t force them all to stay up till three in the morning tying bows to ceremony programs – let it go.
- Give them free reign with your hen’s night – you won’t regret it! Okay, maybe you will, but that’s the point
- write them an IOU.
- treat them to a concert, or a beer at the local pub.
Readers, do you have any other ideas to add?
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Must drop in to show you Creepy Cupcake’s post on creating a Mummy themed wedding. Think Ancient Egyptian with a dark twist.
Egyptian Mummybead Collar Necklace, from The Nile, $14.50
She’s also done the honour of introducing me to TheNile Etsy Shop, who makes gorgeous Egyptian beaded collars and jewellery and should expect a visit from me when I return in November.
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No, not for the blog. For me!
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