I have never been a huge fan of wedding veils, personally. It’s just not my style. My sister had a cute little one, just popped in underneath her bun, with a beautiful headpiece and birdcase pinned into her hair. It was so understaed and beautiful. On her. On me, veils just never seemed to work.

I wanted a circlet, and I looked everywhere for the perfect one. I found it, for $1000. Eeep.

I kept looking, but I didn’t find my gorgeous circlet until I discovered Dress of Your Dreams, the site from which I brought my amazing dress. I happened to glance at their accessories section, and there she was.

No one commented on my lack of a veil. They were too busy ooohing over our clothing and being scared out of their wits.

my beautiful medieval circlet

The tradition of veils harkens back to classical (ancient greek and roman) weddings, when the bride wore a veil dyed red. In many other cultures, it’s customary for women to veil themselves for sacred occasions such as weddings. In modern times, the veils has come to be a symbol of the “princess” wedding we all wan’t so much

But what if you’re not that kind of girl?

Headdresses and Fascinators:

With vintage pinup so in vogue, fascinators have made a comeback in a huge way. They’re in all the bridal salons, but you can get much more awesome ones by scouring the online shops. Look for unique details and bright colours.

Hats

Wedding hats are no longer only the domain of the matronly bride. What about a cute top hat for our Victorian tea=party? A straw hat for your beach wedding? A cyberpunk elf hood for your Industrial wedding dress?

A cake hat!

What about one of Agent Lover’s fabulous cake hats? How fun would that be for an Alice in Wonderland-themed wedding?

Circlets and Tiaras

Tiaras are for the princesses among us, but who’s to say you can’t be one of the badass princesses? Look for tiaras made from industrial metals, sharp angles, black-toned materials, and with an abundance of spikes.

While tiaras sit on top of your head, like a miniature crown, a circlet goes around your head, resting in the middle of your forehead. Circlets look ethereal, and work best for fairy, medieval and pagan weddings.

a beautiful Silver Moon medieval circlet

Wreaths

A simple wreath or garland made of flowers, laurels or dried fauna would really suit a pagan or medieval wedding. Alternatively, a wreath made from fake blooms could contain a few surprises: little charms, halloween decorations or mementos of loved ones.

So you see, you don’t have to cover yourself with a veil on your wedding day. Nor does your head have to stay bare and proud. You have lots of options for finding an item of headgear to suit your needs.

Dear Wedding Skulls

We’re having a smallish (80) people wedding in our backyard. The theme is Gothic pagan fairy tale. We have a folk band playing and its gonna be heaps of fun.

Should we have a wedding registry? My mum says we have to and without one no one will know what to buy us, but I’m  not sure. What do you think?

***

Wedding registries. Ick. I hates them.

Generally speaking, people accept that a wedding is an occasion to bring a gift. they expect it, they plan for it as soon as they get the invite in the mail.

However, it’s impolite to imply, especially ON the invitation, that gifts are to be expected. And that’s just what those little registry cards the stores give you do.

Having a wedding registry does not make you selfish, becuse normally, you chose a wedding registry to attempt to help your guests, and make their lives easier, and that’s not selfish at all. But they can appear selfish and present-grabbing to some people.

Also, the stores encourage you to register above and beyond what you could expect to recieve to “give everyone a good selection to choose from” or “in case people want to give you more than one item.” Some of them tell you to register 3 items per wedding guest, which is 240 items for an 80 person wedding. How do you think that looks when your guests recieve the store list?

And lastly, registries rob those people who take great joy in shopping, or making, that perfect item to help you start your married life. While there’s no rule that says people have to buy from the registry, having that little card fall out of the invite sure implies there’s a rule.

So, instead of a gift registry, I recommend leaving a note with the person managing your RSVPs – either yourself, or your mum, or your maid of honour or whoever – about the kinds of gifts you might like. Create a small list of household goods (small, and non-specific: toaster oven, and coffee machine, not ”the super-expensive coffee expresso machine with built-in choclate curl decorator, from specific shop at incredible price of only $299.99) or specify a larger gift people might donate to. Some people say “donations towards our deposit on first home” or, as we did “donations towards our travels”. 

When people ring up to RSVP, they will most likely ask about gifts, so you or your RSVP-minder can give them a few ideas, and also keep track if someone says “Oh, I’ll get the toaster.” They can cross that off the list. If people don’t want ideas about where to get a gift, they won’t ask.

You can put something like “RSVP and gift ideas by calling Grandma Luna” on the invites, which seems much less rude than writing a message about what you want, or including a registry card.

In saying that, registries are becoming the norm these days, and most people know what they are and understand it’s just a couple trying to help out their guests. So, I would think about the guests you’ve invited, and assess what method would be most useful and least offensive to them. Would they rather have a convenient way to shop for something they know you want, because you picked it out, would they rather have a rough guide to what you might need, but still have the pleasure of picking it out, or would they rather give a donation and be done with it? Would they think the very idea of saying anything, at all, about wedding gifts incredibly offensive and presumptuous?

Only you know your guests, and can best guess how they would react to a wedding registry, and only you can decide whether you should choose a registry or not.

I hope I’ve helped
Steff

Medieval weddings have a certain magic, a touch of faerie in the air. So many of our notions of medieval matrimony are tied up in the tales of Auther and Guinivere, knights and chivelry and fantasy novels.

The starting point for anyone planning a medieval (or other historical period) wedding is the source material and history books. A little reading would reveal the reality of medieval marriage is much different to the fantasy.

The Church performed marriages, and any marriage had to be sanctioned by them. In 1076, the Council of Westminster decreed that a man could not marry his daughters or sisters without the blessing of the Church. However, it wasn’t until the 16th century that a marriage had to be performed by a priest. Castle weddings were common, and allowed, so long as the marriage was blessed by a priest later. Weddings would often take place in the “Great Hall”, or in the gardens. 

Marriages were generally arranged like a contract, with papers drawn up describing the rights, responsibilites and properties of the bride and groom. Arranged marriages were the norm, especially among the upper classes. An arranged marriage would be decided when a the intended were about 10-12 years old, and they might not even meet until the day of the wedding.

For a marriage of lesser wealth, a betrothal ceremony would take place at the bride’s family home, and the whole village would gather to celebrate. They would give the couple useful gifts like farming tools and spindles. If the groom couldn’t afford a ring, he would give the bride half a broken coin, and he would keep the other half.

The bride’s family was responsible for organising her dowry, while the grooms family provided a suitable home for the couple. A gift would also be given to the priest who performed or blessed the ceremony. A groom might also give his bride a gift on the morning after the wedding, to say, essentially, “thanks for letting me pop your cherry, love.”

Grooms who married a bride from a different village would have to buy a round of beer for the local lads, since he had robbed them of a possible wife. In return, the local lads might stage some kind of serenade or prank (sounds like a stag party to me) to try and catch the bride and groom doing the dirty.

The bride’s dress would be the nicest one she owned, and her entire face would be painted with cosmetics. High foreheads were considered beautiful, so she would pluck her hairline. Brides would wear their hair loose or weave flowers through it to create a floral wreath. She might tie a blue ribbon in her hair or on her dress, and blue was the symbol of purity.

The wedding day would include a great feast, and entertanment (jugglers, musicians, minstrels). if the Lord of the Manor felt the occassion justified it, he might even free prisoners to mark the special day. Beggars gathered outside the gates to beg for leftovers.

And what leftovers there would be! Roast quail, venison, cheeses, carrots, pears, strawberries, apples, oysters in almond milk, tarts, bread, salads of chives, lettuce and radish roots, onions, pistachio nuts, and turnips. Mulled wine, cider, beer and mead flowed freely, and dancing would follow. Guests brough small cakes, which they stacked in a huge pile (mmmm, cake pile!) and the bride and groom would try to lean over the pile and kiss without toppling the cakes, as this meant bad luck.

A medieval wedding sounds like an awful lot of fun. If you’re planning a medieval-themed wedding, you can use these traditions as a jumping-off point for your own ideas. No one is going to stone you if you don’t follow medieval traditions to the letter.

I know Wedding Skulls readers love anything a little different from the “normal” wedding stuff, so I’ve been thinking about alternatives to the boring guestbook. At our wedding, we have a notebook my mum found in a hippy shop, with a resin cover moulded like a demonic Necronomicon, and a skull pen magnetically attached to the cover. It’s awesome.

A guest book is meant to be a memento for you, so you can look back and remember who came, and read the lovely wishes they wrote for you on your wedding day. I’m a big fan of guestbooks that let guests be as creative as possible, because I think that makes for a fun book to look back on. Perhaps you’ll enjoy one of these ideas:

Wedding Platter

You can buy plain white platters from many sources (check your local Ikea) and draw on them with ceramic pens, which you should be able to find at a craft shop. If you have a lot of guests they won’t be able to do much more than sign their name, unless you want an entire wedding crockery set (which sounds like fun, especailly if you have some artistic friends). In order to set the markers, you normally need to bake the platter in the oven, so make sure you buy one that’s oven safe!

Wedding Pillowcases

Buy two unpatterned pullowcases and have your guests sign these with fabric markers. This idea works with other functional items, like aprons, photo frames and matt boards, canvases, cushions, vases and tapestries.

Playing Cards

I always think playing cards are the oft-overlooked classy, simple decorating tool. For the retro couple, why not buy a packet of playing cards and have your guests scrawl on them? That way, whenever you play strip poker, you can be reminded that grams thought you were a beautiful bride.

Wedding Collage

If you’re a bit of an artist, design a wedding collage, (just design it, don’t make it yet) which will include some of your wedding photos and mementos, and some means of guests signing it (little bits of paper cut out as skulls, or leaves, etc). leave the cut outs on the guest table with lots of multi-colored pens and

Sweet Tooth

Have a cupcake or cookie-decorating station, and have each guest make up an edible with their name on it, or a short message. Arrange the yummys on a table and take several good photos. Now eat your wedding guestbook for dessert!

Garden Feature

Have your guests write their names on a rock with a pen that won’t wash off. Seal the rocks with varnish and arrange in your garden. Plant a flower that reminds you of your relationship, and watch it grow together.

The Steampunk Book

Have a friend sit at a table with an old typewriter. Your guests dictate messages which she can then type out. Use these typed messages to create a steampunk-themed scrapbook or other art item. For extra fun, have your guests dictate messages as telegrams.

Another great steampunk idea is to have guests sign an old vintage travelling trunk. Filled with your worldly possessions, you’ll be ready for airship adventures!

Pumpkin Patch

At your halloween wedding, have your guests carve their names into a pumpkin, and take a photo of them all lit up. How wicked would that be? Give out a prize to the most artistic pumpkin.

Horrible Guests

Buy a calico zombie doll, and have your guests sign that. Awesome!

Recipe Guest Book

On your wedding invitation, ask each guest to bring a favorite family recipe. Compile these recipes into your own family cookbook. You could even have the book printed through Lulu, and give copies back to your relatives for birthdays and Christmas.

I hope I’ve inspired you with a few alternative wedding guestbook ideas. Remember, a guest book is meant to be a memento for your wedding reception, so choose one you’ll be able to hold onto forever.

Steampunk – the meshing together of Victorian sensibilities and science-fiction. The aesthetic of aether and brass, of steamships and Air Pirates, of death and glory and mother England.

In the last few years, Steampunk has taken to world by storm – not just as a subgenre of science-fiction movies, books and games, but as a lifestyle and a subcultural aesthetic. Like Gothic, but more adventurous and playful, steampunk fuses whimsy and darkness in a perfect blend of awesome.

So it’s no wonder that Steampunk weddings are the hottest subcultural event since the class visit to the train museum. All over the world, couples are embracing the magic of the Victorian age to marry in old railway carriages, airships and hot-air balloons.

The centrepiece of a steampunk wedding is always the clothing. Steampunk fashion takes Victorian styles and re-casts them as the Victorians might have imagined futuristic aliens might have dressed.

Steampunk fashion features an element of dress-up: you create a persona for yourself based on who you would be in a steampunk world: a dishevelled air-ship captian? A steam-powered warrior from Napolean’s robot army? A mad scientist working for the Queen of Hearts? Literature, Science, Religion, Polities – take what you love from Victoriana and mesh it together into a character that’s uniquely you, but.

The Brides Outfit

A Steampunk bride should be both beautiful, mysteriouss and completely otherworldly. Think about your steampunk persona – those aspects you wish to emphasize with your outfit – your sense of adventure, your passion, your humour, your whimsy.

Steampunk is not a fashion of minimalism – it’s flambouyent, <> and <>. You need to wear something you’re comfortable in, but at the same time, you only get married once, in one outfit, so you might as well make it as awesome and crazy as you can, right?

The flexibility of the steampunk style allows us to experiment with different colours and textures. Victorians loved the combination of several layers of textured, patterned fabric, lace and jewelry. Combine stripes and squares, damask and ivy, silvers and gold for a distinctly Victorian feel. Add modern sub-cultural elements like rivets, safety pins, spikes, leather, PVC, tattoo designs and , to give that modern / old fusion.

The Groom’s Outfit

The steampunk groom is a figure of dapper sophistication. Unlike most other fashion styles, steampunk offers men ample chance to really let their creativity run wild: you could be a lion tamer at a menagerie, an Air-ship pirate or sea-going privateer, an adventurer, a pioneering archaeologist, or a decorated soldier with a mechanical arm.

No steampunk groom would be complete without a hat – bowler, top hat, soldier’s beret or cap and goggles.

The Attendants

Renting outfits from a costume shop or army store might give you the option of choosing desirable outfits on a budget. Where else could you find four matching Civil War uniforms?

Think about tying your attendants into your theme and characterisation? What about an airship crew with hand-designed insignia? Or a group of parlour ladies? Or soldiers from the Queen’s royal guard, complete with futuristic ray guns strapped at the hip?

Perhaps you could let your attendents create their own outfits based on their steampunk personas. You’d certianly have one of the most creative bridal parties ever.

Accessories

Accessories define the steampunk look. Fob watches, goggles, jewelry made from old watch parts, taxidermy, memento mori and curios, glass bottles filled with arcane liquids, military uniforms, lace handkerchiefs, monocles and huge silver keys. Hunt the many steampunk shops on Etsy or the thift stores in your own town to find the necessary gems. I love army surplus stores for a huge array of authentic knick knacks.

Creating the perfect steampunk wedding outsits means a lot of hard work: deciding on your aesthetic and your steamy personas, then scouring thift shops and car boot sales for those essential accessories. Late night DIY projects to make goggles and sew lace and attach watch parts to his cufflinks. But I think perhaps the best thing about a steampunk wedding is the chance to be boldly, crazily creative in a way you often don’t get to in everyday life, and that you get to share that creative process with your partner. How awesome is that?

It’s been a long time since I featured a steampunk business here on wedding skulls, but that time is at an end. Aerin of Royal Steamline contacted me months ago, but I’ve been horribly slack about putting this interview together. But finally, here it is. I know you’ll love Royal Steamline’s collection of vintage-inspired dark, macabre and steampunk wedding invitations.

Who is Royal Steamline and what do you do?

Royal Steamline is a husband-and-wife design team based in Portland, Oregon. We create wedding invitations that have a dark, clockwork or otherwise retro/vintage flavor. Through a subtle (and sometimes anachronistic) combination of shadows, textures and vintage illustrations, we aim to convey a sense of eras strange and forgotten. Sea monsters mingle next to robotic ravens, and gentlemen scientists have tea with rockabilly rebels.

What is steampunk to you?

We thought you might ask something like that! Well, it can be many things, but it often involves a reordered history, usually with a novel mixing of noteworthy technological concepts or historical figures. And, yes, it often evokes the people, manners, and building materials of the Victorian period. So you might have Sherlock Holmes working with William Fox Talbot to develop infrared photography as part of an effort to identify and apprehend the Ripper. But it goes way beyond this and the common penchant for corsets and goggles: it can involve elements of the Old West or totally fictitious times and places. It’s kind of like Justice Stewart’s famous quote, we’re not sure how to define steampunk, but we know it when we see it!

What drew you to the culture/style initially?

Hmm…a particular sense of adventure? Always asking “What if…?” The dusty, muted colors. The elegance of brass, glass, and the era of the gentleman scientist? Poe and the birth of the modern detective story? Sprawling fin de siècle country manors where strange dinner parties occur? Jim and Artemus foiling the mad diminutive doctor? The contradiction of it all. Plus, we adore Victorian wallpaper design!

How did you or will you incorporate gothic and steampunk features into your wedding?

We often tend to prefer the subtle. So when it came to our wedding, we tried to incorporate a lot of small details and touches that suggested instead of overpowered. For instance, we created table “installations” that featured objects from our collection of curios: glass eyes, Victorian travelogues, antique stereoviews of seances, examples of 19th century quackery. Our guest book was a stack of antique postcards that people used to “send us” their best wishes. J. wore an antique silver brooch (reputedly haunted) as a tie bar, and I wore a unique shrug and veil that I had handmade for the wedding; I also wore long gloves and a ’30s-inspired gray dress. In our readings, we quoted everyone from Poe to Shelley to the Gothic Archies (again, it’s all about new combinations!).

Tell us a little about your design process – how do you choose materials/motifs/inspiration for your pieces?

Our designs start and end with a story, usually sparked from a book or artifact on our shelves. J’s been deep into Victorian pulps and I’ve been collecting mourning buttons and early 20th century advertising and science imagery. We’re inspired by the stories of retro technology, textures of old paper…the look of outdated fonts…some crazy ornate border flourish. The combo of the different worlds usually leads to some interesting aesthetics.

Why do you think Royal Steamline appeals to so many people?

It seems that more and more people are realizing that weddings can and should reflect themselves, their styles and tastes. And, for what seems like a growing number of people, this means choosing wedding invitations that evoke a dark, gothic or Victorian or misplaced-science-type feel. It’s created a whole new definition of what a wedding should be. We just want people to enjoy their wedding day — and if they’re into the idea of people landing on the Moon in 1901, then please come see us!

Name a couple of bands/songs that are on your stereo at the moment?

Music plays a huge role with regard to who we are and what we do (or, maybe, just how we do it). We actually met when we were both living in San Francisco and our first date was basically one big argument about music (but it was great!). We genuinely enjoy a huge range of music: I grew up loving bands like Bauhaus, Ministry, Joy Division, Clan of Xymox, and The Smiths while J listened to stuff like the Misfits, Neurosis, Hawkwind and Einstürzende Neubauten. These days, we’re still all over the place! Recently, shows we’ve seen include Earth, Stereolab, Vagabond Opera, the Horrors, Thrones, the Handsome Furs, the Ghastly Ones…We haven’t even mentioned J.’s love of early Americana (Harry Smith is a big influence) and my collection of hard bop and sad bastard vinyl.

What’s coming up for Royal Steamline?

More invitation designs, of course! Oh, and we recently released a line of what we’re calling “dress badges.” By combining vintage seam binding, buttons, military pins and insignia, we’ve created accessories appropriate for weddings, balls, cotillions, museum dedications or just everyday wear.

Any advice you could offer to Wedding Skulls?

We just hope brides and grooms go with their hearts. If you don’t want to wear a white dress then don’t! If you want to walk down the aisle to Ernest Tubb or At the Gates, then do it! Your wedding is about you and your partner — make it a day you both will love to plan and remember.

So Skully brides and grooms, if you fancy a little steampunk-inspired wonder to adorn your wedding invitations, I suggest you head over to Royal Steamline and check out all their designs. While you’re there, you should take some time to read the Royal Steamline blog, which is packed with great steampunk articles.