A $500 wedding – can it be done?
Posted by admin on Apr 24, 2009 in Alternative Wedding | 5 commentsDear Wedding Skulls!
Help! We are SO POOR! I mean, food-stamp poor. My fiance was laid seven months ago, and I was laid off last month. We due to be married in three months. His parent’s gave us $500 towards the wedding, and now that’s all we can spend! We’ve already had the rings made and I don’t want to cancel, or elope. I wanted to have a big party with all my friends and family. I’m so sad. What can I do?
My heart goes out to you, and every other family who’s been affected by job loss over the last year. It can be very hard to stay positive when you’re faced with the endless rejection letters. I’ve been there one – I understand, and it’s not easy.
I don’t think you should postpone your wedding. I think you need the party. Life doesn’t stop because you’re in the poo. Have your wedding, celebrate that even in tough times, the two of you have each other, and you have your friends and family, and nothing – NOTHING – is more important or more worthy of celebrating than that.
The wonderful thing here is that you HAVE a brilliant support network. Instead of using them to cry to or bitch at, why not employ their services to create a fab wedding party everyone can enjoy. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help – they love you and your crazy ways, and they’ll be thrilled to be a part of your wedding.
Here’s what I would do. Take your $500, say ‘thank you SO much’ to your kind in-laws, and make that your firm budget. Call your local council and find the cheapest hall they have. Or host the wedding in your or a friend’s backyard, if you can. Venue cost should be $100 at most, hopefully less.
While your talking to city hall, find out the minimum required regulations for marriage in your city and note them down. How much is a license? How much for a court official? If it’s cheaper, I would go to the courthouse earlier in the day/week and sign your papers, than have a friend conduct a ‘non-legal’ ceremony at the wedding. Cost of legal mumbo-jumbo – $100
Next, I would call – yes call – every one of your friends and relatives and invite them. Or, better yet, if they’re nearby go and visit them. Assuming you’ve still got a phone, or legs, this is free, and SO personal. Spend some time with each person, learn about what’s going on in their lives, let them know what’s going on in your life and wedding, and make sure they write down all the wedding details. Invitation cost – FREE.
While you’re inviting your friends, explain to them that you won’t be accepting wedding presents, but a plate of food to share would be most appreciated. Also explain it’s BYO alcohol. Cost of reception – FREE
Search through your closet for all ball dresses / goth clothes / corsets you haven’t worn in awhile. Can you assemble a great-looking outfit for your wedding with what you have? Can you give some clothes to a seamstress friend to transform into a wedding-worthy outfit? Cost of wedding dress – FREE, or $20 for extra materials.
If you really can’t find anything, scour ebay, etsy, goth trading sites (I know there are some) and discount dress shops like Dress of Your Dreams, until you can find something special for a bargain price. Wait till after prom / ball season and scour the discount racks at high street clothing stores – you’ll find hundreds of beautiful dresses for around $20. Cost of wedding dress – $20-100.
Does you beloved have some funky clothes he could wear? Does he have an older brother he could borrow a suit or other attire from? I have a friend whose husband wore his everyday, floor length black leather trenchcoat to their gothic wedding – and he looked STUNNING. Generally, men don’t care about these things so let him wear something he already looks great and feels comfortable in. Cost of mens attire – FREE.
Allow your attendants to wear whatever they want. you could give them a colour or a style and get them to pick something appropriate from their own clothes. They can beg, borrow and steal from others to find something fun and appropriate. I personally think randomly-dressed attendants look the best! Cost of attendents attire – FREE.
Since you’re on my site you’re probably having a unique gothicky, halloweeny, wedding, right? So instead of flowers, carry a candle down the aisle. You’ve got candles and wrought-iron candlesticks at home right, you goffick, you? Just be careful to have one with a wide drip-tray – you don’t ant to spill dripping wax on your pretty dress. Cost of flowers – FREE, or $10 if you have t buy candles.
Do you know any great bakers? Could they bake you a wedding cake instead of bringing a plate? Cost of cake – FREE
I’m sure you know some friends in bands or other performance groups. My friends had a group of firedancers hanging out, that kept everyone entertained for hours (they even tried to teach me how to spin the staff). If you have the wedding at someone’s house, you could set up singstar or guitar hero on their TV (ONE of your friends must have these that you could borrow). How much fun would that be? Reception Entertainment – FREE.
I’ve taken care of all the big things, but it’s up to you to find the rest. Remember, a wedding is not about all the expensive stuff – it’s about celebrating with the people you love.
I bet my awesome readers have tons more ideas. Let ‘er rip in comments, guys!
My fiancee and I are broke too. We are lucky enough to have parents that can help us out, but so far I have been able to keep the wedding around $2,500. I agree that $500 is cutting it close, but still doable. Some more ideas:
–I don’t know where you are located, but if it is in the US there is the option of having a friend get ordained online to perform the wedding. That is what I am doing and I have done it for my friend. Just be careful that you are following your state’s legal rules. I got ordained at the Universal Life Church (do a google search). There may be an equivalent outside of the US, but I am not sure- you’ll have to do some searching.
–I found the cutest tea-length dress in multiple colors and sizes for $88, plus the store owners gave me a code for an extra 10% off and you can order it online. For all the info go here- http://tartdeco.blogspot.com/2009/02/whoa-great-retro-wedding-dress.html
–My mother and her friend are making cupcakes for my wedding. Easy, cheap and it gives you the ability to make a few different kinds. You can also make a quick and easy cupcake stand out of stacking boxes. I blogged about it here: http://ebrideconnect.com/Milwaukee/2009/03/30/cupcake-stands/
–Don’t forget about your local library. There are tons of wedding books about planning, DIY, etc (especially vintage books) that are available to help you come up with awesome ideas that are cheap, cheap, cheap. I also search on worldcat.org to find books and see if they are available anywhere near me. If you are a student, you can do an interlibrary loan through your school library for things that aren’t close.
–Start following a bunch of budget wedding blogs and check often to see posts on cheap wedding ideas, giveaways and sales. Steff has some listed here and I have some on my blog (Tart Deco) too that I read for my wedding.
Good Luck!
Coordinate your bridesmaids’ outfits by having them wear ribbons in your wedding colors: In their hair, tied into a bow as a corsage, or whatever.
In lieu of a gift, ask all of your guests to pitch in with wedding prep: Making favors, cooking pot luck items, decorating your venue, etc.
Dig through your local fabric store’s bargain bin for remnants of bridal-type fabrics like tulle. Use it for DIY items like a veil, tie it into little bags for favors, or use swags of it to help decorate the room.
If you’re going goth, instead of a formal reception have a “scary movie” party. Set up two or three borrowed televisions and play a different movie on each TV. Serve popcorn.
Ask the local florist about “discarded” flowers. Anything wilted gets thrown out and can usually be had for free. Choose good-looking blooms, hang them upside-down in a warm place to dry, and make your own dried-flower bouquet.
Look for free outdoor venues for the wedding, such as a public park (you may need to make reservations for a large group).
If you can sew (or know someone who can), look for assorted bridesmaids’ dresses on Freecycle or Craigslist. Most people can’t get rid of theirs fast enough, but they can often be altered into a pretty bridal gown with a little effort. If all of your bridesmaids have dresses from previous weddings lurking in their closets, have an Alteration Party to make them a little more match-y (cut them all to a similar length, make them all sleeveless, or just distress them artfully and have a retinue of Zombie Bridesmaids).
Instead of hiring a professional photographer, hand all of your guests a disposable camera and ask them to snap photos. Collect the cameras as they leave, and have a couple of rolls of film developed every month. Getting each set photos back is like a little surprise present, and your guests can capture many more angles and shots than a single photographer can. If you know someone who’s a good photographer, ask them to take some formal photos of you and the wedding party. (If you don’t, it’s really not the end of the world; I only have one photo of my entire wedding party, and it was taken by my mother-in-law. It shows the whole group, and that’s all I really cared about. My “formal” wedding picture was actually taken on our first anniversary, when we had a little more money. We dressed back up in our wedding attire and posed in a graveyard: http://www.halloweddings.com/about/who.php)
Geeze; I’m getting long-winded. Just remember that the whole point of the wedding is to formalize your commitment to each other. You can do that with nothing more than a marriage license. Everything else you do is optional, so don’t kill yourself with picky little details.
Thank you so much, both of you, for such wonderful, thoughtful and cost-saving ideas. Anyone else want to weigh in?